10 commandments for a happy marriage
via lifestyle.msn and chinadaily.com.cn
Now that you've been married for a while and have settled into life as
a wife, you've gotten your financial house in order, thrown your first
successful shindig, and learned the trick to making up after a spat.
Now here's a little refresher course: the 10 commandments to staying
sensational after saying, "I do."
1. Thou shalt not live in a bubble. Sometimes love is such a whirlwind
of crazy joy that you forget that there are other people, things, and
activities in the world besides the two of you. While this is
understandable, you have to have outlets, otherwise you'll drive each
other bonkers. Before you met Your Guy, you were always getting
together with your gaggle of female friends, hanging out with your
family, putting in extra time at the office, saving the world at the
local shelter, or taking a few classes to keep expanding your brain.
Don't stop. Just because you are Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So doesn't mean
you have to be attached at the hip and forget about everything else.
Your marriage will be a lot more interesting if you keep on being the
fascinating gal you were before he met you. You'll also have a lot more
to talk about over dinner.
2. Thou shalt respect all forms of life, not just married life. Life
becomes awfully narrow when your social life revolves exclusively
around other couples. One too many brunches spent talking about the
real estate market will make you think you've died and gone to married
hell. One benefit of your wedding was that you had the chance to
introduce all of your previously separate social circles to one
another. So once you're wed, keep mixing things up: his friends and
your friends, work friends and school friends, neighbors and family,
old friends and brand-new acquaintances, singletons and smug marrieds,
parents of twins and the child-free.
3. Don't worry. You've still got it. When you were single, you met cute
guys everywhere -- at the laundromat, on the subway, at funerals. Once
you're hitched, it's easy to miss the buzz of universal male admiring
attention. But unless you're a movie star and you absolutely have to
look lustily at other men because it's your job, don't go batting those
eyelashes at anyone but your beloved. Don't worry, you still have the
power. You've just got to take it on faith instead of soliciting daily
proof.
4. Honor thy mother-in-law and father-in-law. Your in-laws may be
incredible bores, gossipy and nosy, or so tacky and embarrassing you
want to hide under your turtleneck when you're out with them. Whatever
type you've inherited, welcome them with open arms whenever you see
them. No matter what you think of them, remember that they are
responsible for raising your terrific husband. Even if you really
believe that he only turned out normal due to some sort of divine
intervention (think Marilyn on The Munsters), give them the credit. So
listen to your father-in-law drone on and on about weird weather
patterns and act riveted. Eat your mother-in-law's scary meatloaf (even
if you prefer things green) and don't forget to ask for seconds. Grab
another glass of wine if necessary.
5. Thou shalt not even bother trying to keep up with the Joneses. Let's
get things straight. There will always be a couple that is funnier,
more attractive, sexier, wealthier, nicer, hipper, healthier, smarter,
more successful, and more glamorous than you two. Got it? Even if you
are the grooviest couple in the room at one party, you won't be at the
next. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other couples (some
of whom you will find out later were just faking it on the road to
divorce court), you will miss out on enjoying how happy you are just
being yourselves.
7. Be a team. While you are both successful, independent people, don't
forget to cheer each other on, support each other's crazy dreams, and
encourage each other to live your best lives. If he's up for a
promotion, become best friends with his boss at the office Christmas
party. If he's always wanted to ride in the Tour de France, buy two
tickets to Paris to see it up close. Lousy day for him? Treat him and
his buddies to an after-work gripe session at the corner pub. On the
days where your star is shining and his isn't, make sure to pass him
the winning shot. In a mean and crazy world isn't it nice to know you
always have someone on your side?
8. Be fabulous. Be comfortable being unconventional, glamorous, or
unique. You don't have to become June Cleaver now that you're hitched.
Who cares if you guys like to have the Christmas ornaments up in June,
don't have matching silverware, or prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon to a fine
vintage? Let your hair down. You've found someone who loves you, warts
and all, so be the marvelous off-beat woman that he fell in love with
and never try to be some cookie-cutter Mrs.
9. Be romantic. Sounds crazy but sometimes it's easy to forget what got
you married in the first place. Don't stop being romantic, sexy,
creative, impulsive, spontaneous, and crazy in love now that it seems
easier to rent a video and order takeout. Take tango lessons, get
season tickets to the ballet or hockey, go ice-skating hand-in-hand,
and let him pick you up for a date. Don't be afraid to be unabashedly
Hallmark-card cheesy and profess your love. Whatever it was that got
you thinking he was the man for you, keep doing it. Most important,
don't ever forget the power of an unexpected drop-everything smooch.
10. Be thankful for your guy. There are times when married life will
make you think back to your sensational single days with longing and
alarm. You were Mary Tyler Moore, for God's sake, what made you think
you wanted to be Edith Bunker? When the love of your life is driving
you bananas, it is time to remember how
sexy/suave/smart/sensitive/studly your man was the night you first
decided that he was IT. Remember how lucky you are to have someone who
puts up with all of your nonsense. If through everything, you remember
to be grateful for landing the most wonderful man on the planet, your
marriage will reflect that, every day.